Dearest most darlingest ever readers,


I apologise for my lack of posts but our computer was infected by a VIRUS and is currently in bed in PC World drinking tea and chicken soup in a vain attempt to recover. The're also erasing the ENTIRE thing, including

• MSN - How am I supposed to talk to Claire/Deirdre/et. al. at 11.00p.m? And I have no idea how to reinstall it. My cousin did it for me the first time!
• ALL of my pictures
• ALL of my videos (well, if I had any they'd be gone)
• ALL of my Word documents
• ALL OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS EVER MATTERED TO ME. (well, not really, but if you are a slightly melodramatic 14 year old it seems that way doesn't it?)

So as a result I am cranky, mopey, depressed, and my little brother and his Neanderthal friend spoiled my day at the movies and pizza resteraunt and my friend's house. It is so unfair.

Random note: Go to see Coraline but as soon as she goes into the room with her Other Mother and sees all the flashing kind of bug stuff STOP WATCHING. I didn't, and I screamed for the first time in my life at the cinema. It really was awful. And scary. My sister ended the movie literally sitting on my lap, and my best friend was actually shaking with fear. Yes, we should probably have been slightly more mature, but no, we weren't. But to be honest, I really want to see it again :D

Another random note: I am a pretty good haiku poet. Not the most challenging of poetry, but I really like it and bite-sized chunks of non-rhyming poetry are the perfect type for me.

Haiku by Laura Hammer, Completely copyrighted.

all of a sudden

poorly composed sentences

are just poetry

I made that one up. I actually wrote a load of them to Claire. Some are about Coraline, some are about last night when I was babysitting, and not all of them are very good. But they kept me amused. Feel free to type a few singing Randamusing's praise into the comments.

And this one is actually by Claire Boreanaz, but I love it and am therefore giving her 100% credit...

Haiku by Claire Boreanaz. Also completely copyrighted,

now i look outside

that nice flower just farted

and so did that one

If you have seen Barbie in Swan Lake the above will make perfect sense. Or not.

Anyway, I'm typing this on my dad's computer and I have to go... I think we're getting ours back on Tuesday. Today I sent our computer three boxes of tissues and a Get Well Soon card.

Randamusing, you are

so clever and well written

makes me laugh sometimes.

Over............................

.............................and out.

One More Thing.

Obviously some people read this blog who aren't me, Claire, or my mom, or else we wouldn't have 9 votes on our first poll. So could you please comment? Under every post it should say "0 Comments" or "3 Comments" or "947 Comments". Click that and it'll bring you to the comment page. And if you're not on Blogger, click either "Anonymous" or "Name/URL".



So get commenting, dears.




Over.......................

................and out.

Ten Random Things You Never Knew About Me

Here we go.

Warning: Explosive revelations below may cause severe cranial trauma to those who watch Balamory and have twenty three cans of tuna in their pantry.

1. I detest my feet. Truly hate them. I haven't been barefoot in public for ages. Flip flops annoy me too although I like them a lot. They just show too much.

2. It annoys the heck outta me when people write "alot". A AND LOT ARE TWO DIFFERENT WORDS, PEOPLE. LEARN TO SPELL THEM PROPERLY AND THEY WILL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND.

3. I have not eaten a vegetable intentionally since I was four (except for bribed forays into the realm of vegetable). However, you probably knew this about me already.

4. My favourite Shakespeare play is either the Taming of the Shrew or the Twelfth Night. Someday I hope to read the original Shakespeare instead of the slightly condensed but good-for-studying book of Shakespeare I have.

5. Right now, I want an iPhone more than anything. Unfortunately this dream will probably never be fulfilled until I am a highly successful actress on Broadway raking in the Benjamins at which point I will not see the appeal of applications where you can play a leaf like a trombone.

6. I named our first hamster Nosie Rosie. She was a good hamster, until she died of old age when I was at a birthday party and Mom came to get me and did not tell me immediately that my dearest darling of the animal kingdom was dead. She has, however, been replaced as my dearest darling of the animal kingdom twice. Your spirit lives on, Nosie.

7. I used to adore apple juice. Then when I was sick for a while once (I was pretty young) I could eat and drink nothing but apple juice. I loathed it after that and switched to mango quickly. I only recently began drinking apple juice again. I still prefer mango but it's sadly unavailable here.

8. I loathe science fiction, I really do. Terminator the movie is as close to sci-fi that I've ever gotten. I watched the first episode of Battlestar Galcraptica (as I semi-affectionately refer to it as) but approximately one quarter of the way through I gave up and began playing Mario vs. Luigi with my sister.

9. I can count on my ten fingers the number of times I've gone to school this year without washing my hair the night before. I wouldn't describe myself as a clean freak, because my room is a mess, but the shower thing is kind of my personal obsessive-compulsive thing.

10. I think I am slightly psychic. Seriously. I can often predict things that are going to happen and most of the time they come true. I doubt it's supernatural though, it's probably just a wicked coincidence and good guesswork.

And Bonus Thing #11, because you probably all knew #3.

I love to talk about myself. This is the one subject I am completely knowledgable about. And I just had a crystal-clear vision of Claire rolling her eyes and saying, "really?"

Retraction 1

In her last (otherwise fabuolous) post, Claire Boreanaz stated that Captain Hammer's groupies sang "For a sweater vest!"

This, dear readers, is a blatant lie.

They did, in fact, sing "FOUR sweater vests!"


Thank you for your time........

...........over and out.

APPENDIX #2

IF YOU WATCH A MOVIE ABOUT GIANT ANTS, ISN'T IT HUGELY APPROPRIATE TO CALL THEM


GIANTS?

And somewhere something something an absurd little bird is popping out to say CUCKOO.

Hello, gentle viewers.....

Well, it's that time of year again. Not Christmas, but THE CUCKOO FLEADH. This is basically a very fun festival which encourages otherwise-apparently-sane men to dress up as giant flightless fowl. Don't believe me? Here is PROOF.

Sorry for the sideways-ness. I have no idea how to rotate pictures.



But anyway, during this insipid excuse for a holiday (up there? I lied. 'Tis not fun. The most amusing part is laughing at the cuckoo and wondering under what circumstances did his costume adopt the pungent but unmistakable scent of urine.) there are puppet shows, a 10km Not-So-Fun Run, and lots of try-hard musicians playing in the local pubs. And we have many pubs.



And now for a

**!!RANDOM POINTLESS STORY!!**

Niamh, Niamh, Megan, and Eoin came back from the Cuckoo Not-So-Fun Run. They were walking past the pier and they saw French tourists jumping into the sewage-infested sea. Très idiotique. They went into the pier's resteraunt and when they came out, they were watching the guys jump in and Niamh looked down through the crowd and saw one of the guy's butts. Apparently he jumped into the water, his trunks fell off, and he came out dripping wet, naked, and unposessing of any form of masculine dignity.


- transcribed from my sister Niamh who told this story in the third person. IDK why.



Well, I have nothing else really to say that would intrest you. I bought a big felt daisy hair gogo in one of the stalls...? and I might go buy a ring now. I'll see.



xoxo

ZOMIGOSH / My first semi-rant

First off, I officially delcare that all OMGs must be replaced with ZOMG. The Z stands for, well, nothing, but it sounds so much better. Claire, please take note.


Second of all, I have news for all of you Twilight lovers/haters/obsessed...ers -



Stephenie* Meyer's college roommate is apparently suing her, since she (the roommate) wrote a short story with basically the same plot as Twilight when she was in college. WELL.


However, upon Googling the matter, there seem to be a number of sites saying "this is false". Well, I still pretty much believe it. I mean, there are better sources (i.e my mom's friend) than sites that have nothing better to do than post everyday about how Robert Pattinson grew 1/4 inch of stubble overnight and Kristen Stewart's fingernails are now 0.3185% longer than they were three days, two hours, twelve minutes, and fifteen seconds ago. Seriously. These people are so obsessed, it's scary. And of course they're going to say it's fake. Personally, I would be quite happy if Stephenie* lost the case - the entire Twilight franchise has been blown up as if it is a rubbery red ballon with a picture of Robert Pattinson's face on it. I used to like the books before the hype destroyed them, now everytime I hear someone say "Edward Cullen"** I feel like running around my kitchen table with steam billowing from my ears and my face scarlet red almost like the Hogwart's Express.



Well, I suppose the movie's quite alright. BUT THE BOOKS DON'T HAVE JACKSON RATHBONE BELLYBUTTON, DO THEY?***






On yet another random note, I have posted pictures of Claire and my gods. The great Geoffrey Holder/Punjab is first, Captain Hammer (in costume!) is second (Claire, he's second because I'm pretty sure you love him as much as I do but you love DB slightly more than I do), and David Boreanaz is third. Enjoy, and feel free to fall on your knees in worship.




*does she spell it with an A or an E? Different sites seem to spell it different ways. Some fans, if they can't even spell the author's name. And no, I am not especially a big fan of hers so I can be forgiven, can't I?


** My close friends (i.e Siofra, Claire, other close friends who read Twilight, etc.) and their parents (Margaret :D) are excluded from this.


*** No, not Jackson Rathbone'S bellybutton. Jackson Rathbone Bellybutton. *hits pause button*

Teachers can send such mixed signals.

Hello, dear un-commenting readers. Laura Hammer here.


Claire has, most unfortunately, posted before me.

Now isn't that a nice surprise?


Ok. Sarcasm finished.


Well, today we had a non-uniform day in school. Great, if you (like Claire) favour hoodies and nice jeans. Not so great, if you (like me) favour quirky one-of-a-kind fedora hats with a waspleg black and white print. I spent the entire day hiding my hat in my book pile, since Miss Prittstick (vice-principal, standing in for the real principal who has hopefully been taken back to her home planet by her alien granddaughter-in-law) has a thing for non-individuality. Here is how one of our conversations went.

LH: *walks to classroom wearing fedora*
MP: *stares*
LH: *confused*
MP: Why are you wearing a hat?
LH: Um, Miss, it's our retreat*. It's a non-uniform day. The hat's just.... *trails off, waiting for Miss Prittstick to recieve the point*
MP: But why are you wearing the hat?




However, the hat (which I put on at the 11 o' clock break. Take that, MP) can also bring people closer. For example, today I was walking up towards the Home Ec rooms with when suddenly Miss Twig pops up from a manhole. Or something.


MT: *smiles manaically*
LH: *goes rigid*
MT: I love your hat!
LH: *tries to move lips numb with shock, after all this is the teacher who is amusingly ignorant to other cultures where they stick mechanical pencils in their messy bun/ponytail thing*
MT: Really, it's a very wacky hat!!!
LH: *tries and fails to form a coherent sentence and ergo settles for a supressed smile of disbelief*
MT: Well I must go destroy more rainforests! SYS BBZ! **



You see the reason for the title? Yesterday, two pencils are practically the start of a nuclear war. Today, she is pretty much the president of the

"LET'S ADMIRE LAURA'S HAT! CLUB"

(membership costs €29.95 per month with a free TRIAL MONTH if you subscribe next week and have no car insurance or macademia nuts in your house)

On a completely different note (so far) my sister Niamh got whacked in the face by a ball kicked by a guy in her class, at which point she spouted more blood than a garden hose filled with blood and she actually could not get up. I fear she is concussed, although she is probably not.

On another slightly-the-same note, I went to see Singin' In The Rain at the local(ish) theatre tonight. It was highly amusing and the voices were all good. However, I am absolutely nearly positive that the man playing Cosmo stared at me a lot. Either it was my dazzling good looks, the fact that I was the only member of the audience wearing a hat, the fact that I was sitting exactly in the centre of the audience, or the fact that my eyes were shining brightly with the effulgent glow that only musicals can inspire.

We can only guess.

* A retreat is a day when you go to school but don;t have books or classes or anything and it is basically a chance to commune with God among our classmates and teachers. I like it cause we can wear our own clothes and get no homework , but whatever floats your boat.

** Yes, I am completely aware of the fact that she did not actually say this (or at least the last sentence. I swear, the first part is true. How wacky.

Appendix, or whatever you call those little extra pieces at the end of stories.

Laura here again.

Since Claire is reluctant to post and would rather watch people swaying drunkenly on talk shows on Youtube, I feel as though I must provide you with some form of reading material until Claire has finished her post. Having read part of it, I can tell you it is very exciting stuff.


You may be wondering, why "Laura Hammer? I have never heard of such a silly last name. And what exactly does the hammer mean, anyway? Does it have some hidden meaning? Is it a subliminal message? Is a dirty euphemism?

The answer is, well, yes.



Claire and I both love a movie called Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Doctor Horrible is a supervillain who is trying to be accepted into the Evil League of evil, while working up the courage to tell his laundromat crush Penny his true feelings. But an unexpected complication is on the way as Penny reveals she is dating Captain Hammer (played by one of the hot guys in my last post), an egoistical superhero and Dr. Horrible's arch nemesis.

Will Dr. Horrible be accepted into the Evil League of Evil?

Will Captain Hammer reveal his true colours?

And will Penny choose between the man who loves her, or the man who loves himself?




FIND OUT YOURSELF.

Buy the DVD. Trust me.




CLAIRE, HAVE YOU POSTED YET?

An Introduction to Laura

Hi :)

This is Laura posting, and I am exactly one half of the creators of this blog.

Now that I have the absolutely stupid first sentence out of the way, I can move on.

I live in Ireland, in a house. I have two sisters, a brother, parents, and a dog. If you want to read more about me, just click my profile button (gosh now, didn't that last part sound like a cheesy dating site line?)

Now for a

***!!!RANDOM POINTLESS STORY!!!***

You may wonder, as you read this blog, "Why RANDAMUSING? Does it have some hidden meaning? Is it a subliminal message? Is it a dirty euphemism? WHAT IS IT??!!"

Well, it's not. Randamusing = Random + amusing. Because

1. Claire and I are random and amusing (we hope)

2. This blog will be random and amusing (we also hope)

3. This blog may contain random musings (we know)

***!!!END OF RANDOM POINTLESS STORY!!!***

Apparently, Claire will be posting about her celebrity crush David Boreanaz. Yes, the man is gorgeous, but I intend to broaden my horizons and post not one, but TWO hot male pictures here for you. Enjoy.

If the school I go to had more teachers like that, I would most definitely be more eager to do my homework.

Speaking of school, today I had an awesome clip and clipped my hair into a messy bun-ponytail thing and stuck two mechanical pencils out of it like chopsticks kind of. It looked awesome.

Until my crazy short music teacher stared at me as if to suggest I was crazy and said, in a voice dripping with poorly-verbally-composed venom (although since she is all of 3ft 10inches tall it came out more amusingly ignorant to other cultures where they put mechanical pencils sticking out of buns)

"LAURA! Take those OUT! Do you want to go to Miss Prittstick*?"

Laura: "I'd really rather not. Miss Prittstick scares the crap out of me and I like my face the way it is, thanks. Besides, you are obviously amusingly ignorant to other cultures where they put mechanical pencils sticking out of buns and this is blatantly appalling. Also, I am tired of revising the scale of C major for literally the 47th time since you became a substitute teacher in October. I am starkly, painfully aware of the fact that it has absolutely no sharps or flats. And has it ever occurred to you that there would be no better time to wear a different outfit than the painfully monotonous one you have persisted in wearing since you came to this school in October than right now?"

But of course I did not really say this. Instead, I meekly began tugging at the pencils which had become lodged inside my messy bun/ponytail thing and replied:

"No thanks Miss. But I understand all this already...."

She turned away, obviously having no reply to my sharp wit and infallible logic.

Some teachers are so stubborn it is simply pointless to even attempt to argue with them. I have learned the hard way that Miss Twig is one of them.

*Alter ego code name for the crazy creepy scary teachers mentioned in the first post. All the teachers have code names so we won't be stalked by creepy perverts who sit hunched over their 14 year old computers wearing only a pair of Homer Simpson boxers and a t-shirt (3 sizes too small) that says "PerV College Class of 1916".

Welcome to Randamusing!

Welcome to Randamusing, the ONLY blog written by two very bored, very random, very easily amused second years who go to an all-girls school and are terrified/amused by their creepy first year math teacher.

This was written by Laura, as it says down at the bottom. I just wanted to be the first to post. Longer post coming soon.....!


can you stand the tension?